life is like a box of chocolates...

so this week has not been the best. to be brutally honest, it completely sucked. it started off with me having some bug sunday through tuesday and being up sick almost all monday night. but i left for work wednesday morning telling my host mom ¨yo estoy perfecta!¨ and super pumped because 2 more days until my family would come. i kept telling everyone how unreal it felt that they were coming and i made plans with my host family to have a big cookout and a day at the pool on sunday.

then around 9:30am i read an email from my dad saying that he was flying home from his business trip because grandma gerry took a turn for the worse and her nurse predicted she may have 3 days left. he wasn´t sure how this was going to effect the trip and to call when i got the chance. i thought ¨oh wow this is bad¨ and tried to work. but i couldn´t focus, so i went to talk to my boss and had my first cry of the day. i knew a fellow salter was at mcc so i went to borrow her skype equipment and had cry number 2. i called my dad and when i heard ¨´we´re not going to be able to come¨ i just lost it. 5 months of anticipation and planning and excitement and dreaming just crushed. i could not understand the timing. why right now? my poor grandma has suffered with alzheimer´s for 10 years. 10 years! i can´t understand why God didn´t bring her home sooner. i knew there was a possibility of her passing away during my year in Bolivia and i wish i was home. right now i feel the farthest away i have ever felt. and now i feel so selfish because i will not see my grandma one last time and i want my family here with me!

some people heard my crying and asked my friend ¨oh no was she robbed?¨ no that happend a few weeks ago...so they heard was what going on and i recieved a lot of comfort and prayers from the staff here. really wonderful people here. i spent the day with my friend, talking and eating chocolate from north america. then at potluck (wednesday dinners at mcc) we had prayer time where we prayed for the people of haiti during this horrible time and for my fam. and at home my host fam said to just have peace; it´s better to have known before my family came to santa cruz and have had to rush home.

i talked with my family for almost 2 hours last night, got all our crying and frustrations out and got to hear how grandma is doing. sounds like she is comfortable and ready to go. the grandma i remember is an amazing woman who loves Jesus, loves her family, friends, long walks, and ice cream and took me on the train for my first trip to chicago. we´ve already been missing her the past few years, but there would be times her personality would shine through the confusion and memory loss. i love you grandma gerry :)

one thing that happens often here in bolivia is that people make plans with you, and then don´t follow through. i´ve just learned it as a fact of life here. but having plans change i made with my family? no way those are supposed to be set in stone. later on in a conversation my dad said he was thinking how we say ¨i´ll follow your plans Lord...as long as they fit into mine.¨ well that was definitely how i felt yesterday and to be honest still feel today. but i definitely feel more at peace, calm, and happy today. last night i was able to joke and laugh with my family, hear about 50 cent in the g-rap (gasp!), and pride and prejudice and zombies. i wish all of this could have happened in person. but i´m looking toward the future, and hoping that they can come another time.

thanks for all the prayers and messages we have already recieved. if you see any member of my family, give them a hug for me.

i read psalm 13 last night and thought how no matter how david or the writer started off the chapter, whether in praise or crying out to God for help or lack of understanding, the chapter always ends with praising God. you know, that´s a pretty incredible, sometimes hard thing to do, but amen brother. so...

¨As for me, I trust in your merciful love.
Let my heart rejoice in your saving help:
Let me sing to the Lord for his goodness to me,
singing psalms to the name of the Lord, most high.
Psalm 13:6-7